It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
