I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
