so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
