i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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