Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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