please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
