just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
