apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
