Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My feet surprised me
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