You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
There's even glitter on my cock...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
