absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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