she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
either way he was missing a nipple.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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