I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
