He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
