Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
