I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
