i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
