he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
