You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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