margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize