dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize