Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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