Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
