whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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