I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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