u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They are going to name an STD after you.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
