So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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