I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize