u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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