girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
