my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
is that a dick in a sweater?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
