And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize