he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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