I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize