these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
