no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
