yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
