So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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