I wanna bring you to show and tell
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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