No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
