I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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