Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
