You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
