Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
