i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
