do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
