We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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