my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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