hotel room ftw
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
