She is in my trunk
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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