idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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