woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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