We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize