my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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