I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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