Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
