News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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