therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
