ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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