I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
