in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
